I was just reflecting this past week about seasoned friends and how so many seem to disappear as time goes on. A lot of times, it is distance that forces these friendships to fade. Other times, it is as innocent as forgetfulness or lives that are too filled with other priorities.
I spoke with an old friend last week; a friend who I could have sworn would have been there for me for the rest of my life. It's true that since both of us have gotten married, we have spoken less. Yet, this did not seem to affect the actual friendship. I looked forward to seeing her. Our friendship had been through a lot since our high school days. And then something happened. At first, I didn't know if she had changed or if I had never noticed it, but this friend's negativism and self-doubt surfaced in horribly sarcastic and mean comments meant to cut and hurt me. At that moment, I realized that I didn't ever want to be around person again. I was shocked at my callous reaction. She had been a friend for so long. Yet now, as I reminisce about our friendship, I noticed that this particular behavior had been a recurrent part of her personality. She had always found ways to put me down and I guess I used to ignore it. So maybe it is I who have changed. I never thought I would be the one to withdraw from this friendship. I can't blame time or other factors. I will be the one to force this friend away.
How sad is that? I keep wondering: Is it a good thing that I do not want to be around this negative person? And what do you say to a person who's condescending attitude is finally just too much to handle? How do you say goodbye?
You know, maybe I will take a passive backseat... stop contacting her... and allow time to do the dirty work for me. It would have happened eventually anyway, right?
10 years ago
4 comments:
in one of my blogs on my myspace i posted was an article i found listed things that are supposed to help reverse your chronological, biological, and psychological age and one of the things listed to reverse bio markers of aging was:
"Don't put toxins in your life, including toxic food, toxic
emotions, toxic relationships, and avoid toxic environments or toxic relationships."
So I think you made a good choice not to associate someone that is "toxic" lol. Who needs those kinda people to bring ya down? :)
Thank you, Sher. You're right. It's just sad to see such a long friendship ended in such a negative way.
I actually had a dream about this friend last night where she did something else that was mean and I told her off but everyone was mad at me for being mean to her! UGH!
Nikki, I was just taalking about this sort of thing the other day. Mine was more along the linies of I crave the types of friendships I had in high school. I don't know if that makes sense, but I think back on my friendships in high school and they were just different than the friendships I've formed now. I don't know if it was being young, naiive and care-free or what, but I don't know that I'll ever have friendships like that again and it made me really sad.
As for toxic friends, at least you realized she was toxic. It's always hard to lose people in life, but sometimes you have to protect yourself.
Glad you have a blog. :)
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