Out of Context

I have been so stressed out lately. It's like every day I have to hit a reset button on myself just to be able to function enough to get through the day. It reminds me of an experience in my group therapy class where another young lady shared that every time she would be stressed or upset due to the many pressures and influences on her, she would simply hit a 'reset button,' push the stress to the back of her mind, and say, "That's okay," and she would be able to get through the rest of her day. It wasn't really working for her on a deeper level, but at least she was functioning, right? I realized this week that I have been resetting myself like a caged mouse abusing his pellet button. Every day it gets a little harder to hit the reset and by Monday, I felt as if I was reaching a melting point.

So Tuesday I decided to work from home. An option I have always had but have rarely taken advantage of. Why? Because work is done more efficiently in the office with all my resources at my fingertips. Thus, I never really allowed myself to work from home except in extreme situations. But yesterday was a work from home day. A day to take myself out of the context of my life and just be me with no one else around. No office politics. No forced conversations. No obnoxious co-workers shouting frustrations from the next cubicle over. Just me and my house.

Did you know that you can actually hear yourself think when there isn't chaos drowning it out? Did you know there is life outside the rat race we attend every day? I felt so wonderful after having spent the morning doing work my way that I had to do it again today. Sigh. Work from home might not be as efficient as it would be if I was sitting next to the fax machine and file room, but life sure is a lot better. Taking yourself out of the context of the daily crap allows you to breathe again. It allows you to remember who you are and see beyond the next appt to where you are in life. I'm more than the caseload I support; I have a life too. I just need to remember that every now and then.