So, I started working this week and let me tell you: It has been a long, roller-coaster ride of emotions, a test of my physical stamina, and a trial of humility. Dropping Benjamin off at Shari's house was difficult. I was proud thought that I didn't start crying until after I left; I'm glad Ben didn't see me get upset. My first day seemed so long. At least I was able to watch videos in the beginning so I wasn't on my feet the whole day. I was able to meet many of the staff and, toward the end of the day, get to know the product, which included trying on every pair of jeans in the store. Haha, it's fun to get paid to try on cute clothes. Everyone was super nice save it be one girl. She hardly greeted me and gave me the stink eye the rest of the day. I honestly racked my brain that night trying to think of something I might have said or done to upset her. >shoulder shrug< That night I cried and cried because I felt so guilty for being away from my son all day just to help people try on jeans and what not.
"Was it worth it?" I kept asking myself.
The next day was a little easier. Ben was excited to go to day care, which made the goodbye ok. I had fun at work and got to know the other employees better. 'Stink Eye' girl wasn't there so...yay! My sales were great considering it was my second day and I felt pumped for the rest of the week. My back hurt even more and my feet felt like stones. And again, I ended up crying the whole night because I felt guilty. But this time it was because I felt guilty for enjoying my work while my son was at day care. I also felt guilty because I'm not allowed to call Eddie during the day. It's strange to go from talking to him every hour or two to nothing at all.
Again, I asked myself, "Was it worth it?"
My third day seemed to be my introduction to the unfolding drama in the store. I was initiated in with stories of good and bad bosses (almost like Michael Scott-stuff from The Office), the partying, and the explanation of 'Stink Eye' girl. Apparently, when she and her BFF at the store heard that there was going to be a new Manager Trainee (me), they decided to treat me like crap to "put [me] in [my] place." They told everyone that if I tried to boss them around, they were going to "make [my] life a living hell." Nice, huh? I was even warned by other girls in the store to not bother being nice to her because that will just piss her off more. So... I found myself pitying 'Stink Eye' girl and her friend; they always seem so bitter and upset. How horrible would it be to live your life in such hatred and negativity?
I also found myself taking the humble route when it came to speaking with her. I asked her for her opinion when I was working on a presentation (sale), thanked her for her input, and encouraged her to let me know what I should be doing to keep busy. I know that technically I am her supervisor but for now, I want her to know that I am not a threat to her or her position. It seems to be working. I've received less stink eye than the previous day. I plan to speak with her within a week or so and explain to her that I don't plan to boss her around, because she knows what she is doing more than I do but that I need her help and support to get to know the product and the way the store handles and would love and welcome her input.
Well, that brings us to today: my day off. I still have to go into work though and speak with my boss, the store manager. I am so glad that I get to spend my day with Benjamin. It's nice. We had pancakes together and watched Curious Buddies. It's been a long week and I am glad it is coming to an end.
So... is it worth it? I don't know. I do feel myself growing and learning a lot. My son is learning a lot too from being with other kids during the day. He is talking more and seems more confident. When I prayed about finding a job, I found myself asking for Heavenly Father to place me in a job where I could be of help to someone and maybe even share the gospel with them. This is the place where I am supposed to be. It will be wonderful to see who it is that I can help. Who knows, it may even just be me.
10 years ago
2 comments:
Great update! I'm sure there will be tons of ups and downs every day with the new job but if you felt right about it then chances are it is still right. At least Benjamin seems to be doing well with being in daycare. When my mom took me to kindergarten it was not a pretty sight. Be glad you have such a good kid!
It was hard to be assistant manager when I worked at The Body Shop 2 years ago. My main "partner" store manager, decided not to like me or give me a chance right when she met me. I did everything the way she wanted, and most of all, I kicked butt, I helped turn that store around to become at the top 3-4 stores in daily sales goals in the region the whole time I was there. But she still was a meany and made me cry 4 different times. I had never met such a cold hearted person. I did my best though. It definitely was a learning experience. I didn't end up enjoying managing as much I thought, won't ever do it again probably, too stressful. But I hope it works out great for you. All jobs definitely have their trials. I do miss hands-on customer service though. Hopefully you won't have to work full time for too long.
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