"I don't feel so good."

This whole past week I felt like I was coming down with something and the funny thing is I watched it happen to Ben at the same time. We both started out with runny noses, stuffiness, aching, and now yucky coughs and an overall crappy feeling. Just in time for Thanksgiving! Yay. Last night, I was up with him at about one in the morning. He would cough so hard that you could hear it scratch and strain his throat muscles. He would put his hand on his neck, look at me with sad, sad eyes that were full of tears, and whimper a dejected: "Oooh..." Broke my heart. I don't even think I care anymore if I am sick; I just want my baby to feel better.

Where's my opus?

This morning I drove to work alone. I normally carpool with Eddie and Benjamin, but today is Eddie's day off so the boys stayed home. That meant that I could listen to whatever music I wanted. This would typically consist of Christmas music (you know, I had a nightmare last night that they stopped playing Christmas music? Talk about scary!), but since they were on commercial, I popped in my Ultimate Yanni CD. Yeah, ok, I'm lame, but I like it, ok? As I was grooving to my Yanni music, my mind began to wander and tangentilize (real word?). Ever have that happen? It happened to me.

Anyway, I thought about what it took to compose such beautiful music and what a gift that would be to hear a song in your head and be able to express it on paper in notes and sheet music and then create it with a 50+ piece orchestra. How amazing would that feel? I don't know if any of you have directed an orchestra or choir, but I had the opportunity to do that in Brazil for a Christmas concert we put on at the local mall. There were hundreds of people watching and I was able to direct a missionary choir that I had helped organize and put together. I remember the feeling of standing up in front of all these people. I felt so accomplished. Then I thought of Mr. Holland's Opus and August Rush and how with their music, every piece of their life brought something different and something unique to their life's work: their Magnum Opus (Charlotte's Web fans, you know this phrase). How many people can say that their whole life culminated to one encompassing masterpiece? Can you imagine?

So this morning, I decided that I want a Magnum Opus. I guess I still have some years to determine what it will be exactly. Will it be through music, words, or art? Maybe it will be through my children or my patients I will see when I'm a counselor.

What will yours be? What part of your life can you make your greatest masterpiece? What is your Magnum Opus?


magnum opus n. A great work, especially a literary or artistic masterpiece. The greatest single work of an artist, writer, or composer.

Journey through the desert, to the Promised Land

This past weekend, Eddie, Ben, and I traveled across the mind-numbingly boring highway through New Mexico to visit Eddie's dad's side of the family in beautiful Ruidoso. It was well worth the vast emptiness that is southern New Mexico. I had prepared for the trip by printing out MapQuest instructions and three maps. We followed the directions to a T and found ourselves offroading in the middle of a forest. Our vehicle, a Honda CRV, may look like an SUV, but it is, in fact, not. It is just a taller version of a Honda Civic. So there we are, stuck in the middle of the woods trying to follow these directions in an area where the dirt, uneven roads have no signs and it was beginning to get dark. I started to feel very uneasy and urged Eddie to turn around. It took awhile since the roads were so narrow and we didn't want to end up stuck in a ditch or anything. We finally got back to the main road and called the condo/lodge. They proceded to tell us that we had taken the back way to the condos and that it was probably a good thing we turned around since not many vehicles can get through that area. With new instructions, we were able to find the condos, but not without greeting many a wildlife creature on our way up the mountain. My reaction? "Holy crap! There's a deer! It's a real flippin' deer!!" Yeah, ok, maybe I hadn't been out of the city for a while. We probably saw 30 something deer while up there and the whole time I could only think of how yummy they would taste (Thanks a lot, Heather and Brett!). The condos we stayed at were located up in the mountains and offered a fantastic view of the scenery and local lake. We spent time with the Texas side of the family and had a great time eating home-cooked meals, painting Fernie's fingernails whilst he slept, and playing Rummikib and Catch Phrase. Seriously, I had not laughed that hard and that long for a while. Good times. Unfortunately, we only had time for a three-day weekend and it seemed that we had to leave almost as soon as we got there. :( It was still oh-so-nice to see the family again and hopefully it won't be so long till we see them again.

If you give a Democrat a cookie...

This morning I woke up and got ready like any other day. Halfway through my shower, I remembered last night's events. A wave of sadness swept over me. I never felt any anger. Just disappointment. Disappointment in the fact that I guess I really thought that more people felt like me. I thought more people valued the family structure, supported the life of an unborn child, and had integrity when it came to personal work ethic. I had suffered from what psychologists call faulty consensus bias.

I'm really hoping that what Bruce Jacobs and head of the Arizona Republican party said on KFYI this morning is true: that a big portion of those who voted for Obama did so because they were tired of a Republican leader, not because of his ideas and beliefs. That makes sense since many of his followers were not very familiar with his campaign stance. Jacobs asserted that perhaps this blind support might change now that the Democrats have control and that many of Obama's supporters won't allow him to run crazy with his socialistic and liberal extremist policies. If that's the case, then I am fine. I wasn't worried about having Obama as President; I was worried about what he might do. So if his fellow Democrats are willing to disagree with him occasionally and stop this country from becoming socialistic, then I think we might be ok.

Here is something to uplift those who feel like I do:

"To all who suffer—to all who feel discouraged, worried, or lonely—I say with love and deep concern for you, never give in. Never surrender. Never allow despair to overcome your spirit. Embrace and rely upon the Hope of Israel, for the love of the Son of God pierces all darkness, softens all sorrow, and gladdens every heart." (President Uchtdorf)

Ok, now that's funny!

Make it count!

Today is the day to vote. Do it. I've heard so many people say, "Well, the polls show this and that... It doesn't matter." Whatever happened to making a difference? I've also heard people complain about the predicted long lines. Well, if you are willing to stand in line at Disneyland for over an hour to ride Space Mountain for 2 minutes, then you should be willing to exercise your duty as a citizen to vote once every 4 years. Oh, and if you don't vote, you are not allowed to say anything when the election is over. No complaining or whining. Only voters can do that. So get off your duff, go stand in super long lines, and cast your vote for the candidate of your choice.